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{{creative-work |title = The Kobold Song |type = song |author = |author-displayed = |date = 2007-12-17}}

Nothing unusual about that day 
Some folk at work and some at play 
Though it certainly didn’t end that way 
When the [[Kobold|kobolds]] came to town.

I don’t know who spotted them first 
They sorta came in a giant burst 
But folks just chuckled “This isn’t the worst!” 
When the kobolds came to town.

Swinging away with all their might 
[[Mongrel kobold]]s put up a fight 
Time to clear the town of this crazy blight 
Of kobolds that came to town

But what they were swinging caught the eye 
“Ale abuse!” went up the cry! 
“Today these critters are going to die!” 
Those kobolds that came to town

Seems the kobolds were making quite merry 
Swinging those bottles of Winterberry 
Still, all in all, they weren’t very scary 
Mongrel kobolds that came to town

They’d take a swig then swing away 
These mongrel kobolds couldn’t stay 
We’d have to clear them from the way 
Nasty kobolds that came to town

So one by one we took them out 
Some by sword and some by shout 
And saved the Ale for the end of the bout 
With the kobolds that wandered the town

What happened next caused much dismay 
The bottles were fragile and crumbled away 
And many folk were heard to say… 
Blast those kobolds that came to town 

Shoddy workmanship caused much distress 
And broken glass made quite a mess 
But where the Ale’d come from was anyone’s guess 
Did the kobolds find it in town?

Suspicious thoughts ran wild and free 
More kobolds joined in the melee 
“Save one to talk!” was the decree 
Of the kobolds that came to town

Drunken kobolds wandered the town 
Drinking the Ale we couldn’t down 
All we now could do was frown 
At the kobolds that came to town

Bribery and negotiation 
Cannot change the situation 
It’s only leading to frustration! 
At the kobolds that came to town

Then one of the kobolds did start to speak 
And his words were rather bleak 
It made those listening want to shriek 
At thieving kobolds in our town

“We have crates of this stuff. It good” said he 
“We need more…” Well it’s not going to be! 
We don’t share our Winterberry 
Not with kobolds who raid the town

Interrogations then began 
To find their Ale was our plan 
But then that kobold made his stand 
On why the kobolds came to town

“Now we take your ale and leave” 
Such boldness we could not believe 
What trick could he have up his sleeve? 
That kobold in our town

So while we all stand there arguing 
“Take it all home!” from that kobold rings 
Is it possible we heard such a thing? 
Bold kobold in our town

Wait just a minute.. They wouldn’t try… 
The cry went up “To the Stone Eye” 
“Defend the Ale!” was our cry. 
From the kobolds that came to town

With fear we hurry on our way 
Race to the bar with no delay 
They surely cannot get away 
The kobolds that came to town

At the bar, we ask Byron “How’s the Ale?” 
That mongrel kobold looks rather pale 
Replies “They took it all!” and begins to wail 
Horrible kobolds that came to town

In disbelief we drop our jaws 
His answer gives us all a pause 
All our Ale is in the claws 
Of the kobolds that came to town?

If kobolds want Ale they should have to pay 
But Byron, that coward, got out of the way 
He’s really not popular at all today 
Except with the kobolds that raided the town

A raiding party quickly forms 
As some at Byron yell and storm 
“How could you!” “Is this the norm?” 
Traitor kobold in our town

We travel to the mongrels home 
And the hallways thoroughly comb 
Looking for kobolds who possibly roam 
The drunk kobolds that came from our town

Empty-handed we return 
There wasn’t much that we did learn 
We return with great concern 
Are the kobolds still in town?

Much discussion then ensues 
About what happened to the booze 
But we are greeted with the news 
That kobold is back in town

He’s back in town to tease and taunt 
And for us his antics flaunt 
But our ale is what we want 
From that kobold in our town

We beg and plead to no avail 
Then we rant and rave and rail 
At that kobold who laughs and heads down the trail 
That kobold who came to our town

Back to the Eye and Byron and questions 
Hopefully he has some suggestions 
Maybe a place those kobolds did mention 
The kobolds that came to town

At least there’s still some ale to buy 
Though that keg on tap will soon go dry 
It is the last of our ale supply 
Thanks to kobolds who raided the town

The whole town goes on a buying spree 
Stocking up on winterberry 
And complaining drunkenly 
About the kobolds that came to town

Then the last of the ale has finally sold 
One wonders what horrors will now unfold 
The Rest gone dry should be a sight to behold 
Shame on the kobolds who came to town

Byron says with much chagrin 
“Nine days ‘til the next shipments in” 
He shoud’na let those kobolds win 
The kobolds who came to town

Nine days! Let’s hope he cannot count 
Please! Someone an expedition mount 
To bring Ale.. and kobolds to account 
Those kobolds who came to town

Nine days! How can we e’re survive 
No one will be left alive! 
Through soberness we’ll have to strive 
Because kobolds came to town!

So beware my friends if you should see 
A kobold enter merrily 
Give heed and listen to my plea… 
Keep kobolds from coming to town!

{{DEFAULTSORT:Kobold Song/words}}

The Kobold Song/words - Revision history

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